Nothing is ever worth closing your heart over
“Always Keep Your Heart Open.”
This morning, as I was rereading Michael Singer’s excellent book, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, the quote above jumped out at me. Singer explains that by closing our hearts because of disappointment, or the trauma of past events, we close ourselves to the flow of energy through us, indeed the flow of life itself. Over time our hearts become constricted.
Picking and choosing when to open and close our hearts may protect us from pain in the moment, but in the long run, we lose out. We sell ourselves short.
Much of our pain and trauma is from childhood events, buried deep within us because we needed to protect ourselves as children. But throughout our lives, those experiences and disappointments get triggered in the most unexpected ways. New disappointments also attach to the original trauma and strengthen it. The flow of energy is blocked.
The problem that comes with closing our hearts is that even though it may seem protective, we’re not the best judge of when to open and close our hearts. Sure, it’s easy to keep an open heart when things are going well and the people we care about tell us that they appreciate and love us.
But when we’re not getting that, when we are frustrated at work, when we are upset with our partner, when we are fearful, when someone is unkind to us, that’s the time to resolve to stay open.
As adults, we can more safely explore and allow past traumas to soften and release. We can take better care of ourselves. So there’s value in trying to release the stored energy patterns from the past because if we don’t, they will continue to run — and ruin — our lives.
We can seek help, whether through meditation, journaling, coaching, therapy, or other means. Even as we explore these deeper entrenched energy patterns, we can resolve to be brave, to open to life now, in this moment.
Life happens in this eternal moment of unfolding, nowhere else.
We miss out when an old energy pattern sucks us back in, and before we know it we’ve not been listening to what our friend has been saying, we didn’t see the smiling and waving child, we finished the chocolate cake without really savoring it, we missed the sunset.
Where did we go? Into our heads, into thoughts, distracting ourselves with our devices. This is the price we pay — the full experience of our life stolen from us.
Our life. Stolen by us, no one else.
Have you ever reopened a tap or faucet that has been turned off for a long time? First, there is some sputtering and a few uneven spurts of water; it may even be brownish with sediment. Then, after a few seconds, the water flows more evenly in a fresh, clear stream.
That’s a good metaphor for what happens when we close our hearts. We want to keep our hearts open so energy can keep flowing, clean and clear. We want the sediment of our experiences, collected for so long, to be flushed out.
As we keep our hearts open, we flow, and we become part of the universal consciousness and flow of energy to which we have always belonged. In that flow, we can find true refuge from the trials and tribulations of this world. In that flow, we are more present to the everchanging and shifting moment. In that flow is where we will find our greatest ease and joy.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
As a co-active coach, I help you untangle the tangle of life. You can read more posts like this here.
